Just a feeling that I had,
A feeling neither good nor bad.
The tesla coil inside my mind,
Is getting ready to unwind.
To ravish or to rape?
To destroy or to create?
It seems I can't decide.
There is so much inside.
It seems I cannot hide
My heart beneath my pride.
Quentin- Quentin Falk reporting live from Albuquerque New-Mexico where a 27 year old man named Charles Mortimer claims to have returned from the dead. Charles Mortimer or 'Charlie', was pronounced legally dead by the state of New-Mexico on January 24, 2011. The official autopsy states that the cause of death was a deadly combination of alcohol and amphetamines and that the cuts on Charlie's arms and wrists indicated that he had a history of suicidal tendencies. Charlie was rushed to the hospital at Albuquerque but was dead long before he reached the ER.
Quentin- Exactly 2 months later to the day, Charles Mortimer walked through the door of his humble suburban home as alive as you and I.
Beatrice Mortimer: I just couldn't believe it. I'll never forget that day... (She starts to cry)
Quentin- Beatrice Mortimer isn't the only person who will never forget that day. Oct 24th, 2011, Will forever be remembered as the day that mankind discovered walking/talking proof of an after-life. As absurd as this news may seem, we assure that what you're hearing is accurate. There IS a place you go after you die, and it's magnificent.
Dr. Chilliwak- Charles Aaron Mortimer was pronounced dead on January 24th 2011 by a state medical examiner. No con artist in the world could get past an inspection...There's just no way. There's even the autopsy to back it up, and the fact that the corpse remained in the morgue for two months without any contact from the outside world. The whole 'con-man' conspiracy theory is preposterous. I'm afraid to say it but I think we might have a real life miracle on our hands.
Quentin- Death is something that we will all experience. The mysteries, ideologies and dogma that stem from what we don't understand about death have sparked both curiosity and fear in the human race since our humble beginnings. Despite all of our stargazing and religious pondering, no one in recorded history has ever known exactly what happens to you when you die...Until now.
Interviewer- Before we get started let me just say it is an honor to be here in this moment with you.
Charlie- Thank-you. It's an honor for me as well
Int- Tell me Charlie, and I'm sure this is the first question on everyone’s mind, what happened to you?
Charlie- Well, it's hard to say, cause I don't remember everything. The whole experience felt like waking up from a vivid dream.
Int- Do you remember where you went? Did you speak to anyone?
Charlie- I remember leaving my body. It felt like I was letting go of a huge tension inside myself. Like I was releasing something that had been locked up for ages. I felt a sense of wholeness and warmth around me. I somehow knew that everything was as it should be ya know?. I floated around my body for a while then I remember the walls started to change colour. I noticed that the room shifted and morphed as I floated around, it rippled and bounced as I did. I was directly affecting my reality. It was indescribable.
Int.- You mentioned something earlier about speaking with someone. I believe you said his name was Leek.
Charlie- I know, I was getting to that. Anyway, as the room was bending and bouncing, I noticed that the mirror on the wall had been the only thing that never changed. I flew over to the mirror and noticed that I had the same reflection I had while I was alive. This was odd to me, because I could see my dead body being taken away by the paramedics and there I was, dead, looking at my face through this mirror. It was weird. I floated closer and closer to the mirror and eventually I went through it.
Int.- What did you see when you went through the mirror?
Charlie- I saw everything. I saw everything.
Int- Could you provide us with something more specific?
Charlie- See, that's hard for me to do. The description I gave is about as specific as I can get. There aren't even words too describe what I saw... I saw colours that don't exist, I saw events that modern science would deem twisted and ludicrous. It was a vast eco-system of unlimited potential, where everything moved when you moved and bent to your will. Almost like an interactive dream filled with things you'd never thought were possible. I saw creatures that shone with beauty and radiance even though they were almost completely transparent, baring their insides on the outside. These creatures even had little creatures inside of them, and I wouldn't be surprised if that little guy had another little guy inside of him.
Int- Fascinating. This is incredible.
Charlie- My words do it no Justice. You really have to experience it for yourself. I felt like I was seeing the inner workings of existence itself.
Int- I'm sure I'll experience it sooner or later my friend. (chuckles) So tell us about this Leek character, everyone’s dying to hear what the divine has to say.
Charlie- Is that what you think Leek is? The divine? Leek was only a chaperone. He was there to guide me safely to the other side. Leek made me realize that as amazing as everything was, I was only in death's waiting room.
Int- Incredible- What else did he say? What did he look like?
Charlie- He only spoke when I asked questions. You could tell he was acting on behalf of some higher authority and wasn't allowed to say too much. He didn't look like the other creatures i'd seen. He seemed more solid and earthly, almost like He had a physical body. He was incredibly good looking and he wore gowns that gave off an intense light. Wherever his light shone the objects around him shone back as if they were responding to him.
Int- What did you ask him?
Charlie- The first thing I asked him was if I was really dead or if this was just an intense dream. Because at that point I honestly couldn't tell the difference. I think dreaming is meant to prepare you for death.
Int- That's fascinating. What else?
Charlie- I asked him where I was and he said I was at the Chrysanthemum. It’s the place where all new arrivals check in. He told me right from the beginning that I wasn't going to be dead for long and that I was a very special individual. He said that I had been given a second chance to live, which I thought was odd because he knew that I was suicidal and that I wanted to die anyway. I felt like I didn't deserve it.
Int- Rightfully so...
Charlie- Leek assured me that this was not the case and that I deserved a second chance more than anyone. He told me that the reason that I didn't want to live anymore was because I hadn't really been living in the first place. I was spending every hour of every day hating myself. Feeling like I wasn't good enough for this world. Dwelling on the stupid things I had done in the past and the relationships that I burned to the ground. And for what? For the sake of self-improvement? More like self-sabotage.
Int- You're getting pretty heated there. Sounds like Leek had an effect on you.
Charlie- Leek just got me to see what I couldn't see before. That on the surface life seems like this heavy stone given to us by our parents. Most of us carry the stone on our backs as a burden but don't realize that the stone was never meant to be carried, it was really meant to be carved and chiseled into an object of your own design. It's up to you to carve out a life that is meaningful to you because only you know what is most important to you. Basically what I mean is that you can't expect to find happiness in your life when you're stuck living in someone else's. I was stuck in someone else's life. The life that everyone told me I wanted. My prescribed existence. Get a decent job, get a car, get a wife, get a house, pop out some kids, and press repeat. After I did all that...All that running around and all that bullshit...All those things I was told would make me happy... I still wasn't satisfied. I thought, is this it? Is this how every-day of my life is going to be? The same daunting repetitive routines day in, day out, day in, day out? It felt like I was watching a movie that I already knew the ending to. I figured, if I know how it ends why am I still watching? Ya know? As it turned out I really didn't know the ending... I found out that my wife was having an affair and that was it. I had enough of the movie... I killed myself. I fucking killed myself. (Charlie starts to cry)
Int- I just want to switch gears for a second here Charlie, if you don't mind. It's just starting to get pretty heavy in here. Which we knew would happen because of the subject matter. Tell us why you were gone for 2 months? Why wait so long and risk having your body already buried or cremated?
Charlie- (Receives a tissue from stage-hand) Thank you. Well it's hard to say what Leeks real reasoning was but he seemed to know what he was doing. It turns out that my family got caught up in a lengthy debate over where I was going to be buried so luckily, my body was kept in the morgue until they knew what to do. Leek must have either known this would happen or he caused it to happen, I can't be certain either way. But he said the longer I’m dead the more impact my story will have. Which makes sense if you think about it.
Int- He wanted to use your story? What for?
Charlie- Again, it's hard to say what his real reasoning was but I think he wanted to use the story for the same reason you do. To move people. To get them thinking. Thinking about death in a different way, thinking about how they choose to live their lives, thinking about the after-life. There are people in this world who actually think that death is eternal nothingness. That nothing happens after you die. Why are we even taking this ideology seriously? To think that the life of every living thing on earth amounts to nothing is just sad. Leek wanted to use my story to send a message to people and the message is that there's more to life than what we can see with our eyes and hear with our ears. That what we do matters, that what you do matters and that the way we treat each-other and ourselves matters. Leek told me that because I committed suicide I would be facing some pretty hefty consequences if I actually went to the other-side.
Int- This is starting to sound like Christianity all over again. Are you sure Leek isn't the divine?
Charlie- Positive. It's not like Christianity because first of all, Leek doesn't need $30 for collection every Sunday... He told me that one of the biggest problems with religion is that people get too caught up in fantasies and the insignificant details in the teachings and hold them too tightly in their heart to properly objectify the information. The teachings aren't to be taken literally. It really doesn't matter how many times you pray or you go to church, as long as you are kind to your soul within, and kind to the souls of others, you'll have nothing to worry about.
Int- So it's really all about souls and spirits.
Charlie- That's all we are man. Leek called us 'concentrated eternal wisdom'. We're all just here for a short ride in a human roller coaster.
Int- But why? Why even take the ride?
Charlie- I asked Leek the same question and he said I wouldn't understand. I personally think it's meant to be a spiritual experience for your spirit, a journey of personal growth for your soul. A test. If you can live harmoniously as a person on earth than you have what it takes to move on to the next phase. That's just what I think. There's probably much more to it than that.
Int- That's amazing Charlie. I've never really thought of life that way. Our soul is who we really are, not our body.
Charlie- The body is just a vehicle. A lot of people don't realize that. You have to respect it, and you should take care of it if you plan on living for a while, but that's all it is.
Int- Tell me about what you two did for two months. I assume you didn't just talk the whole time.
Charlie- To you and the rest of the world it was two months, for me it only felt like a couple hours. Time doesn't exist in the Chrysanthemum. It's weird. And no, we didn't just talk the whole time. He took me to see some of the Chrysanthemums most popular landmarks. The landmarks varied from abstract mega-structures to monuments of legendary characters and events from every civilization in the cosmos. He also showed me the gateway to the next world which was a beautiful archway that lead to a mirror at the end of a narrow hallway. The mirror was guarded by monstrous beasts and upon further inspection, I noticed that the beasts were actually part of the hallway. It was weird. All the places he took me felt familiar, like I’d been to them before.
Int- You probably have been. That wouldn't surprise me. Unfortunately we've only got time for two more questions Charlie. It's a shame because I feel like we could talk about this for hours. I wish we had our own Chrysanthemum (chuckles). The first question is one that I’ve received dozens of requests for and I’m interested in hearing the answer myself to be honest; How exactly did you resurrect? And how did it feel to come back to life again?
Charlie- Ah, this question. Well I won't lie; I have no idea how it happened. You could call it a miracle, you could call it Gods will, you can call it whatever the hell you want. I call it something that will probably never happen again. Leek made it seem like a zillion natural laws were being broken by doing it once so I’m pretty sure that it won't happen again. Sorry guys. Leek told me that my resurrection came out of necessity. To help the souls of humanity get back on track. If I did my job right then there should never be a reason for it to happen again.
Int- What did it feel like to be back in your body?
Charlie- It felt weird. Really weird. I couldn't move for the first couple of hours because the Rigimortis hadn't completely gone away and I all I could taste was embalming fluid.
Int- Ugh, disgusting.
Charlie- Yup. On top of all that- I was starving to death. After I finally had enough strength to move, I noticed that my hair and fingernails had still been growing. I looked like I’d been lost at sea. The skin around my eyes and my mouth had already started to decay, which was incredibly painful. I wondered if it was payback from Leek for having to answer all of my rudimentary questions. I needed air badly so I began kicking the side of my casket and screaming as loud as I could in the hopes that someone would hear me. Luckily, a diener had been working close by and managed to get me out in time. You should have seen her face, she won't be working as a diener again I can tell you that.
Int- Can you blame her? I'm getting the willies just thinking about it. How did you get home?
Charlie- Well, the receptionist at the morgue heard the diener screaming and called the police. She was pretty freaked out so she panicked. Even the cops were scared shitless when they saw me. When I told them what happened they nearly shot me down on the spot. I told them I was as confused as they were, which was true. They cuffed me and took me in to see the commissioner. He thought I was a lunatic. I probably wouldn't have made it out of there if my brother-in-law wasn't there to vouch for me. He's a detective down at the precinct.
Int- That's incredible, truly amazing. That sounds like Leeks doing. (chuckles)
Charlie- I have no doubt that it was.
Int- Amazing. Well Charlie, we're just about out of time. It has truly been a pleasure interviewing you today. Thank you for being with us.
Charlie- The pleasure is mine Frank.
Int- Can you send us off with a final statement about your incredible journey to the after-life?
Charlie- (pauses for a while) A lot of people have asked me if I spoke to God while I was in the Chrysanthemum and I have to say no repeatedly. It gets pretty annoying. Every time I have to tell them I spoke with Leek, not God and then they'll ask 'well, how can you be sure?'
Int- (clears throat/Feels foolish)
Charlie- The truth is that I can't be sure. For all I know Leek could have been God. The point is that I trusted him when he told me that he wasn't. After that, the thought never really came into my mind again but for some reason, every one else can't let it go. I started asking myself 'why are all these people so hell-bent on proving that I spoke to God?' (Aside from the obvious reasons of course (chuckles)). I wanted to know what the fundamental reasoning behind this behavior was. I came to the conclusion that people are really missing something in their lives. Something they can't explain. Something they can't find. Something they can't buy. I believe that we all secretly want to feel like there is more to life than what's presented to our senses. We want to believe that there is some sort of underlying chemistry that will take us to new worlds when we die. The truth is that there is much more to life than what we know here on earth, I’ve seen it, I’ve been there. I only got to peek behind the curtain but it was enough to show me that our human life is a pit stop, a side-quest. We're here to learn something about ourselves and then move on. Some of us learn the lesson, some of us don't. Some of us won't make it along the way. Each soul is different and the lives they lead reflect those differences. What matters is that we never forget why we came here and that's simply because our soul wanted to experience something beautiful and unique.
Int- (weeping) Very true.
Charlie- We all have to die someday and we know it. In fact, human beings are one of the few creatures who can actually contemplate our own death. We all know that one-day death will find us, but we don't all have to fear it... We should accept death as the end of one life and the return to another. We should use death as a reminder of how precious and fragile life is and how every moment is an unexplained miracle. We should use it as a fixed deadline for learning our lessons and accomplishing our wildest ambitions. We should use our new understanding of death to create a life of meaning for ourselves that stretches beyond this world and into the next one. I believe that is how we attain true happiness. When the Mind, the body, and the spirit are all working together in unison. I sometimes think back to the person I was before I died and I’m overwhelmed by incredible sadness. To think that I was once so miserable and so ungrateful towards life really breaks my heart. I hate the fact that it took my own death to show me how beautiful life can be, but instead of being resentful towards myself, I’m going to use what I’ve learned to help others like me. The ones who are constantly being swallowed up by the gaping holes in their hearts. I want to reach my hand out to all of these people and tell them that the only way to cure their grief is by paying attention to the song in their hearts instead. The chaos of our world often drowns the song out, but if you learn to tune out all the noise, and learn to ignore the critics and the naysayers you'll start to hear it…. The most beautiful song in the world… Your own.
